On the Verge

Today when she walked down the street people touched her, she hurried walked fast and they could see her through, big blue stains spread all over her body, halfway through before arriving she ran into a stop sign turned around and retraced herself all the way back she had to run backwards because outside everyone could see her through and inside words raged into sentences, the sentences stretched entangled extended entangled lengthened expanded into infinite winding webs moving around her clinging to her wrapping around her head

hair eye body

constraining cutting slicing

like a mummy she fell forward

banged against the sidewalk lay unconscious

darkness slowly fell it was cold she woke up, woke up touched herself felt them enveloping her, word webs, the webs softened she grabbed them stretched her hands removed them thus set herself free stood up, stood up sat down, grabbed the filthy muddy webs, crushed them to sentences which disintegrated into words turned to simple casual letters, gathered them without hesitation or sorrow rolled up into a ball tossed forward and watched thus she observed the quiet motion flowing forward the motion she so desired for herself

her body

branded with wrapping marks scarred like knife cuts, the marked flesh suggested long straight wrinkles, she touched them the wrinkle scars stroked them, stretched shrunk, shrunk stretched and they remained there fixed distinct non-erasable, so she sat on the sidewalk, people on the street touched her, she kept on sitting and they could see her through, she got up on her knees, got up heard, heard the sound of dripping water as if rising from the depth of a cave, it was the side-wall of her belly, the dripping sound climbed on up along the narrow neck of a throat, climbed up stopped got stuck, climbed up stopped got stuck before a blocking lump, blocking lump clearing throat. The dripping brought back the memory of refreshing rain, reminded her of all the tears she hadn't shed, all the tears filling up her belly, all the wandering tears wandering to the kidneys, all the tears turning to conscience running on pushing their way into the bladder pressuring

swelling expanding it they are

the sound of her tears

loin-constricting pressure came

she closed her eyes

sought silence

opened

closed, her eyes as if turned inward to see, thus she plunged into a space of dense darkness, expanding, opening into her interior, darkness grew thicker was pulled inward into an infinite space drained into alert tunnels stretching onto the horizon filling with light-weight glowing light like moonlight, light like starlight, glowing like the northern light, the intensity of all the lights there, the intensity of the lights' luminosity, the lights she had to illuminate herself for herself from within. With closed eyes she kept on sitting, passersby touched her she kept on sitting and they could see her through, and she sat, sat alone, alone in the midst of all the noise and bustle, alone in her own light by which she saw herself through, her light by which

she roamed, roamed sought looked

sought

the pouring light the

lights' luminosity

out of the pouring light emerged shadows, clouds, heavy black clouds, sailed in to block the light, the shadows grew grew heavier the tunnels grew darker, she suddenly saw water gushing out of them toward her, furious water, foaming salt water waves, racing washing spewing into her out of her tunnels flooding her flooding her with the terror of earsplitting noise and they are rising up breaking covering strangling, strangling her pulling her pulling her down, she tried to cling to the sides to keep her head above water tried to breathe her hands hit the water her high-held head was washed time and again huge waves drowning strangling, she who was a long-distance swimmer leaped out of the water into the air rolled over on her belly sank downward thrust hands feet pulled upward raised her head flung forward turned over pushed

pulled

downward

to the bottom

the bottom

with eyes wide-open fear foetal like a baby she sank inside, her hair spread out like a thousand serpents enveloping the interior of her face, her face returning to her, her gazing face, looking at her, her doubled face doubled infinitely returning to her from thousands of little mirrors attached to the ground, in her rough face they could see her through see into her see it all

no she screamed

no

her entire body shrank folding inward elbows pelvis knees

like a spring she

tensed up

pushed

leaped

hurled

out

into the air

breath spirit soul

no

like a cork unplugged the scream emitted water from her mouth eye nose ear, released water from her loins, released herself her waters tears sweat, salt water emerged through her fell off her covered her washed her her body she became an erupting fountain bubbling watering soaking saturating the soil.

wet tranquil she looked and saw all the signs that cut through her flesh, all the signs that were, the signs that had been and have vanished, her skin that was, her skin that had been transformed, became new fresh stretched like an eggshell.

seated on the sidewalk she wrapped her hands around her body licked the salt off her skin, thus she got up, stood up and made all the way steps, stood up and made

way

made her way back home.

May 1999